To Book or To Blog

I like to imagine myself as one who can do everything but, in reality, I’m a much simpler beast than that. Trying to force myself into the over-achiever I’m really not, generally becomes “all equals nothing”, which leads to inevitable disappointment which turns into a messy apartment while I binge watch TV with Cheetos in my hair. (Ok…I’ve never actually ended up with Cheetos in my hair but I can’t say it hasn’t been close!)

So while I’ve ignored my blog for a looonnggg while I can at least report that doing so allowed me the brain power to WRITE A FRIGGIN BOOK!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Yeah baby!! I did that! and F*** did it feel good when I was “finished”!

Why the quotes on finished? hahaha oh – that’s because I only finished the first draft….which I’m coming to call just a really fleshy outline now that I’ve begun my first re-write. Yup, I said RE-WRITE…and yup I said FIRST…

You hear all the time writer’s who have done 3, 5, or 7 drafts but it’s a whole other level of comprehension when you begin it yourself – and I started this book during NaNo 2015…and I just finished my fleshy outline this past February.

Needless to say my focus was all on that. I only made it to 13 thousand words through NaNo, so I was far from finished, but it was more that I had ever written on one piece so I was super stoked. I decided that, no matter what, I would finish the book regardless of whether or not anyone ever saw it or how long it took.

And Highfive me cause I did 🙂

Straight after NaNo that year some real world things happened and I put almost all writing aside, save some journal-ing and a few random posts here and there.Throughout the whole process (2+ years) I was also using my time to learn about all the points of story telling that weren’t my forte and learning terms, strategies, and structures that, in some cases, I just did inherently.

There were a MILLION times I wanted to blog about it but I was busy making my own notes and, as stated before, I’m a simple beast. I once came back to my blog to write something, decided I hated the look of my site and promptly went back to Faceb…I mean writing my story… 🙂

Moral of THIS story? Some people CAN do it all….but it’s not for everyone and if you really want something, don’t be afraid to choose Option B: Nothing Else But…

 

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Where to now?

He took a sharp turn to the right and I looked at him quizzically. “Where are you going?” A sly smile stretched across his handsome face, “I’m showing you a new road.” He said with a bit of sarcastic tone. I couldn’t really blame him though as I had only just boasted about knowing all of the two roads in town by heart already.

He was bombing up a little hill and I somehow knew that if the moon were out tonight I would be seeing a grand view of the dark water and Mountain Island in the distance once we reached the top.

As we started coming down the other side I peered out into the darkness as he described where this road went.  He was slowing down and was making a u turn to head back to town but his hand slipped on the gear shift and then I felt the tires hit the gravel of the shoulder.  I turned my head to the right and closed my eyes, awaiting the abrupt jolt of the car when he hit the brake or when the tire logged itself securely over the lip of the ditch.

Then I waited for us to hit a tree as I felt the back end of the car tip down, pulling us backward and down.

I opened my eyes briefly when the moment of impact had passed and nothing had happened.

I saw the stars in the sky through the windshield; they weren’t bright and shining. They were dim little dots against a black sky and the angle of the car now made it like I was lying on my back looking up at the quiet night.

I closed my eyes again waiting for the big crash I was sure was coming now. Maybe there were rocks we would hit? I didn’t know this road so had no idea but I worried briefly about my back that was still aching from the muscle I’d twisted in it the day before. I tried to tell myself to relax so the final hit wouldn’t do much more damage.

I heard a ragged, scared breath from the driver’s seat.

There were no words or screaming but I knew then that we wouldn’t be hitting the ditch, or a tree or even a mighty outcropping of rocks. We would fall into the sea and that would be it.

I opened my eyes once more to the sky.

And then I went away.

Note to self

No one’s going to make you do it.

You have to want it for you and you will have to push yourself when you don’t feel like it.

I promise that it will be worth it and in the end you will be better for it.

So make a plan, but don’t over think it. Don’t get lost in your head and never take a step.

Listen to your dreams and use them to figure it all out. Then in the morning, get up and move forward.

On the days you lose, don’t lose heart. They will teach you something too. Just keep trying.

You can do it. I believe in you.

I’m Being Published

I’m thrilled to share the news that a short story of mine is going to be published in a book!

A real, hold-it-in-my-hand book!

I entered a writing contest and my story made it through the first round of judging which means it will be included in the book even if I don’t win overall. This will be the first time my work will be published and I’m over the moon!

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